Is Mr. Right right in front of me?

I went to a training today with Mr. Sweetness and some of our friends for a volunteer activity in the community. It was a real adventure. We took public transportation. I am not good with public transportation.        
But it was fun. The women in the group talked to me, but the person who spent the most attention on me was Mr. Sweetness. We listens to what I have to say like everything is important. He laughs at my jokes and he is very gentlemanly. Although, I wonder sometimes if he lets me go in front of him because he likes to look at my butt. I hope I not making someone's kindheartedness in to something more than it is. 

However, I was mediating today. I try to mediate a half hour a day! The word that kept coming to the surface was fear. Maybe he is afraid. I told you Mr. Sweetness is 52 years old so that's a twenty year age difference. He also told me he never had a serious girlfriend. My Mom says maybe he never even kissed a girl. Maybe I should try to kiss him. I wonder if it works like in the movies, people don't realize they like someone until they kiss them? 

I know I sound like a whinny teenager, but this must be some what entertaining or you wouldn't be reading this. Maybe I should re - name my blog three thirty year old finally going through her teenage years. I am just so bad with guys and knowing how to get close to them. I mean I am emotionally close to Mr. Sweetness because we share things that we don't tell anyone else. But sometimes a girl needs more.

My best friend says that maybe he is afraid I will leave him, you know like maybe for someone younger? Maybe if I am his friend for awhile, he will see I am not going anywhere. What's you all's advice?

Sex

This is Emily again. You know the really weird thing was when everyone in high school was having sex dreams, I would have dreams of tying my shoe. I would make up dreams to tell the other girls just so I would seem normal. However, this was normal for me because I wasn't ready. Maybe someone can help me out, when a woman is in her thirties is that when she goes through her sexual peek? I have sex dream like crazy now. Lately they have been about my friend Mr. Sweetness. I told you about him in my first post. His fifty - two years old. I actually told Mr. Sweetness about three months ago that I had feelings for him more than a friend.

Well, Mr. Sweetness is still my friend. He does the cutest things. Like I made all this stuff for a picnic and he went out in the ninety - five degree heat just to eat the stuff I made. Maybe I am not use to being treated this way, but he's just so darn cute. Mr. Sweetness calls me every Saturday without fail. And we do something together once a month.

However, every night for the past four days I have been dreaming of making love to him. Something in my head says we should be friends with benefits, but that would just spoil his sweetness. That's not what I want from him. Although, I did decide about six months ago that since I waited this long to have sex that I wasn't going to have sex until I was married. I do feel that if I was in a monogamous relationship with Mr. Sweetness and we loved each other I would have sex.

I hope that whatever happens, Mr.Sweetness and I can always be friends. I worry if another man comes into my life, will I have to give up Mr.Sweetness. To give my heart fully to another, would I have to let go? I remember in Sex and City Carrie broke up with Ayden because he wouldn't let her be friends with Mr. Big. And Ayden was right to be jealous because later Carrie married Mr. Big. Of course, she kissed Ayden while she was married to Mr. Big. Anyway, I just don't want some really awesome guy to ask me to give up Mr. Sweetness. On the same note I don't want feelings for another stand in the way of something really awesome!

Blog Hop

I am participating in a Blog Hop by Big Love. There are rules to the game, so click on Big Love's button on my page check it out! The other blog's participating are.

 Monday, August 13, 2012 to Sunday, August 19, 2012

1.	HarleanRose	26.	A Bit of This and That	51.	Under the same blue sky
2.	BlogLove-Host	27.	Elégante Lady	52.	{the farmer's wife}
3.	Jessi in Wonderland	28.	SomethingaboutSofia	53.	Beauty Made Simple
4.	A Brunette Duet	29.	Green Eyed Monster	54.	This Girls Life
5.	**Beauty Blog Hop**	30.	GPN Giveaways	55.	Es-Jay Makeup - Beauty and Health Blog
6.	Ochi In The City	31.	All About Bree: BreezeyBee Blog [UD GIVEAWAY]	56.	Domestically Unemployed
7.	The Blog Diva	32.	Outer Glow	57.	A Passionate Obsession
8.	Book Review Diva	33.	Sparkle In Sequins	58.	In A World Of Her Own
9.	Island Girl Insights	34.	The Make-up Counter	59.	Alizzet101 Beauty
10.	Kellina's Thoughts	35.	xtiffyxx - reviews, opinions & life	60.	Lazy to lovely fashion&beauty
11.	Bat an Eyelash	36.	Beauty by T	61.	Today With the Tennerys
12.	Erica @ Mind Body Beauty	37.	the beauty shelf	62.	Canadian Beauty Reviews
13.	♥ KT world Music ~ Life ~ Beauty	38.	Sophiax - Makeup Tips & Tricks!	63.	Sadie Loo Hoo - mommy blog!
14.	Beauty Becky	39.	Fancy Francy	64.	★ Covergirl Giveaway ★
15.	Dash of This	40.	Blonde Brittany	65.	Ashley Udoh
16.	Blush Bug	41.	Journey Of An Awakening	66.	Emma's Advice for Girls
17.	Beautifully Superfluous	42.	Life In A Break Down	67.	Amarie Beauty
18.	Beautiful Solutions	43.	Just a Leitmotif	68.	Simply Sarah
19.	Prettylittlefashionista	44.	Natalie Roseanne's Nails and Beauty Blog	69.	buttonsbeadsbeauty
20.	NeonChipmunkMakeup: Tutorials, Hauls, Reviews N'at	45.	Hannahjustyne	70.	GeeBeeBeauty
21.	Cheap Kicks	46.	Happy go lucky	71.	BELLEPOQUE♥
22.	Zoe's Wondrous Obsession	47.	Kokeshi Beauty	72.	Indefinite Style.
23.	The Beauty and The Cheap	48.	Just That Nerdy Fashion Girl	73.	Emily is looking for Mr. Right
24.	TURQUOISE DREAM	49.	Bellezza
25.	Girl Reviews Things	50.	KASSICA

So check it out and hopefully, I'll get some followers too!

Thanks,

Emily

Introducing Emily

Well, here I am a 32 and half year old woman, successful by most standards. One I moved out of my parents house and live with a roommate in a beautiful house turned to two huge apartments! No, I don't live in both apartment, but our half is defiantly the better half. Two I have my Bachelor's of Arts in Cultural Studies with a concentration in Literature. The moment I walked across the stage to receive my college diploma was the second best day of my life, second only to when I accepted Jesus as my personal savior!                 
Third I have a great job at the hospital near my apartment. It's not what I got my degree in, but I tried to teach Literature and it's just not for me. I actually work in Medical Records doing top secret stuff. LOL! I like it because it gives me time to write. I write mostly poetry. I have had stuff published in both my high school and college's literary arts magazines. I just have to get the nerve to publish where I would make money. I guess this is where Emily's blog comes in. I have two dilemmas. One I want to be a published author and two I want to find Mr. Right!

I know that this is twenty first century and I would seem accomplished to some. However, ever since I was a little girl, I wanted to be a mom. Again, remembering the century, I know I could do this on my own. The thing is, I want my child to be my flesh and blood. No test tubes for me and I don't just want to pick a random guy. Secret alert, Emily is a virgin! So anyway, what I am saying is I want my baby the old fashion way with someone who means something to me. I would also preferably like this person to want to be a part of the child's life. I want my child to have a Daddy.

Well, we come to lesson one. Men fall out of the sky. The good ones anyway. My only serious boyfriend, I met on my first weekend at college. I was in orientation and I sat next to my roommate and I guess I didn't realize I said this out loud. However, I turned to the other side of me and said, "I guess no one wants to on the other side of me!" Well, the sweetest, gentlest young man ever said, "I'll sit next to you!" It was a long drawn out process after that, but that December until the end of Freshmen year, he was Emily's serious boyfriend. Now the sexy, sweetest man I have in my life, I meet through friends. The only problem is his 52 years old and not interested in a relationship. So I must move on. He will always be my friend and have a place in my heart, but with his age, even if he did change his mind, I don't think that he would want to be somebody's Daddy

Men do come to one through trying to find them, but I had horrible experiences looking for young men in high school and went on the two of the worst dates of my life then. Also after college, there was a several men that never made it beyond the first date. So I am waiting for a third guy to fall out of the sky! I am going to take you on the journey with me. Let's hope two is not all I get. And I think it's going to be pretty interesting finding out where he will come from. I guess I have a dead line on this too because my Mom went through menopause at 37 and her Mom (my grandma) went around forty.