Sex

This is Emily again. You know the really weird thing was when everyone in high school was having sex dreams, I would have dreams of tying my shoe. I would make up dreams to tell the other girls just so I would seem normal. However, this was normal for me because I wasn't ready. Maybe someone can help me out, when a woman is in her thirties is that when she goes through her sexual peek? I have sex dream like crazy now. Lately they have been about my friend Mr. Sweetness. I told you about him in my first post. His fifty - two years old. I actually told Mr. Sweetness about three months ago that I had feelings for him more than a friend.

Well, Mr. Sweetness is still my friend. He does the cutest things. Like I made all this stuff for a picnic and he went out in the ninety - five degree heat just to eat the stuff I made. Maybe I am not use to being treated this way, but he's just so darn cute. Mr. Sweetness calls me every Saturday without fail. And we do something together once a month.

However, every night for the past four days I have been dreaming of making love to him. Something in my head says we should be friends with benefits, but that would just spoil his sweetness. That's not what I want from him. Although, I did decide about six months ago that since I waited this long to have sex that I wasn't going to have sex until I was married. I do feel that if I was in a monogamous relationship with Mr. Sweetness and we loved each other I would have sex.

I hope that whatever happens, Mr.Sweetness and I can always be friends. I worry if another man comes into my life, will I have to give up Mr.Sweetness. To give my heart fully to another, would I have to let go? I remember in Sex and City Carrie broke up with Ayden because he wouldn't let her be friends with Mr. Big. And Ayden was right to be jealous because later Carrie married Mr. Big. Of course, she kissed Ayden while she was married to Mr. Big. Anyway, I just don't want some really awesome guy to ask me to give up Mr. Sweetness. On the same note I don't want feelings for another stand in the way of something really awesome!